


The Point of No Return

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Job Transfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Loosely inspired by the song Big Girls Don't Cry by FergieDisclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

“How is this not my choice?” you yelled at Strauss. “How is it that the Bureau can just tell me I have to move halfway across the world at the drop of a hat? You’re telling me that no one else in the entire world can do what I do? That I need to drop my entire life because “my government needs me?” What kind of horseshit is that?”

“Agent Y/L/N,” she said sternly, in that condescending way that drove you insane. You weren’t having any of it. None of this bureaucratic bullshit that was going to force you to either quit law enforcement all together or move halfway across the world and leave everyone you knew behind. You hadn’t even told anyone yet because you were trying to think of a way to get out of it. “There’s no need for that kind of language.”

She was actually kidding, right? “With all due respect Chief Strauss, are you fucking kidding me? You’re not the one who’s being told - forced - to drop the life you’ve built in order to go halfway around the world for an undisclosed amount of time and to an undisclosed location. Considering the circumstances, I think my language is very much warranted!” As you screamed, your face took on a reddened color it had never achieved before. You normally didn’t yell and scream in front of people, especially superiors, but this was another matter all together; you couldn’t control yourself.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” she said softly. Whenever she used first names it usually meant the decisions were actually out of her hands. “My superiors. And my superiors’ superiors are being outranked on this.”

This was such bullshit. You had a mother and a father here. You had siblings here. Your team, no, your friends were here. And most importantly, the man you loved was here. How were you supposed to tell Spencer that you were being transferred around the world with no specified end-date to count down to and no specified location? How were you supposed to ask him to wait for you when you may not ever come back? “When am I supposed to leave?” you asked with a sigh of resignation. Law enforcement was all you were ever groomed for. You had no other options.

“Two weeks,” she whispered. Although a standing fan was providing the only noise in her office, you could barely hear her above the soft whirring of the blades. Because she knew. She knew you. After five years with the Bureau, she knew that you didn’t have a filter. She knew you’d say exactly what was on your mind, because you were an asset to the Bureau, so your language and frankness tended to be swept under the rug.

“You’re fucking serious?” you asked. “I have to pack up my entire life, leave my family and friends, and leave the only man I’ve ever loved in two weeks and possibly not make it back?”

She sucked in her lip, not knowing what to say or what to do, so she said nothing. Instead, she reached down to where your file lay. The file that said what your assignment was and where you were supposed to be going. Through the sheen of tears you barely fought off, you could see what you were supposed to be doing. Before joining the Bureau, you’d been a military sniper - with the highest kill count for any woman in the military. Now, with your profiling background, you were needed overseas to interrogate minor ISIS players in the hopes of being led to the leaders. You were being “lent out” by the Bureau to the American government and headed to Fallujah, Iraq. “Again,” she said softly, “I’m sorry.”

Chief Strauss turned away without another word, stopping abruptly when you slammed the door behind you. 

—-

On the way home, to the home you shared with Spencer, you fought back the tears as hard as you could. But about halfway home, you couldn’t hold them anymore, pulling to the side of the rode so you could cry without driving through a veil of tears. The sobs tore through you as you clutched your chest. Whoever said you couldn’t die of a broken heart was wrong. This was as close to death as you’d ever felt.

It took nearly 20 minutes to get the crying to stop to a point where you could drive again, but once you did you were determined. Determined to go there, do what you needed to do quickly, and get back, because this was not what your life was meant for. You were meant to be here, with friends and family and the man you loved, doing the job you’d dreamt of your entire life.

The moment you walked into the apartment, Spencer knew something was wrong. “What happened?” he asked, his facing going white as you sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“The Bureau is lending me out on assignment,” you said flatly. If you put any emotion behind it, you were afraid you’d break down into another sobbing episode. “I’m not allowed to tell you where I’m going and I don’t even know when I’ll be coming back. Or if…” you added, causing your lip to quiver.

When you met Spencer’s gaze, you could barely see him through his tears. “They’re just taking you away?” he cracked. “How can they do that? Why? I don’t…I don’t understand…”

“I don’t either,” you replied. “But I came over here to tell you first. I can’t ask you to wait for me. I can’t ask you to sit here every day wondering when I’m coming back, because honestly, where I’m going, there is a very big possibility I won’t be coming back.”

“You’re…you’re breaking up with me?” he asked, the tears rolling down his face like flowing rivers. “What if I want to wait for you? That’s my decision.”

“We were in this together,” you said, bringing your hand up to your mouth in an attempt to keep your emotions in check. “But I may not come back from this, and I love you too much to put you through that. That’s why I came back tonight. I just came to tell you that I’ve been transferred and I have to go, but I can’t be with you anymore. I need you to move on. If I’m lucky enough to come back and you’re single, maybe we can pick up where we left off, but…I’m gonna go stay with my parents until I leave.”

You needed to get out of here quickly. If you didn’t, you would start crying again, and you couldn’t do that in front of Spencer - for his sake and your own. He began to protest, but you wouldn’t allow it, walking up to him and pressing a light kiss to his tear-stained lips, before turning around and walking out the door.


End file.
